You know who is lame? Those kids that promote student elections. They annoy me so much. They tell me to vote for someone I've never heard of, for issues I don't care about (not even acknowledging their lack of ability to change issues), and ruin my peaceful walks in between classes.
For those of you with the same problem, I have derived a fool proof method of defusing their campaigning in ten words.
Tell them,"If you talk to me, I'm not voting for you."
Case 1: I told this to Amanda and Steele's patrons earlier today and the boy smiled and gave me a thumbs up. He assumed that I would vote for his candidates and felt he had accomplished his work. HA! Fat chance! There is now way I am voting for a girl, with MAN hiding inside of her, and some sort of mispelled building material.
Case 2: Chance and Adam maybe? I don't remember what their name was, since I don't practice nepotism even in politics, I won't be voting for them either. But they accosted me out side of the Tanner Building and I used my foolproof formula. However this weiner boy did ot take me seriously. He tried to explain the platform of his candidates. Right now there is probably tension in your mind, thinking, but Adam, you said ten words! Surely, in order to respond you will have to exceed your self-imposed limit of ten words. Here in lies the beauty of my dealing with bother. I merely pointed a finger at him, and gave him a warning look that all to clearly had insinuated that he had just lost my vote. He looked crestfallen, and on the inside I rejoiced.
I think most possible scenarios can be defused with the previous two cases as a guideline, let me know of any flaws/success stories you have!
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3 comments:
What the heck? I can't believe it. You made that poor guy feel crestfallen. I used to be one of those guys (full disclosure: I only did it because a certain other blogger we all link to and another one of our mutual friends asked me to do it). I think BYUSA should make a no-campaigning rule. In fact, no one should even be allowed to know you're running. If someone finds out that you're running, you're disqualified. They can make them all put up websites and if any of the sites gets even one hit, DISQUALIFICATION!
Also, are you still an official for intramural sports? I was reading in the rules and it said that one was absolutely forbidden from contacting any official or supervisor. I'm serious. It's a good thing I'm using my alias j.l.a. Otherwise, I think I'd be in for a 10 yard penalty.
Also, you may want to check the part where it says what to do if you lose your flag. It says you can lose your flag on purpose and still be able to run. So, if it looks like a guy's gonna grab my flag, I should pull it off myself so that the guy has to touch me between the shoulders and the knees?
Also, when I was a kid, I played touch football with some guys at church once. I remember they said that you had to touch with both hands below the waist. I was flabbergasted. I worried that I'd feel violated if I were touched below the waist. Also, it seemed strange to me to insist that the touch be only below the waist while other sports, like boxing, look very unfavorably on contact below the waist (can you imagine a match where every punch had to land below the other guy's waist? That would be hilarious, but I don't think the boxer's would like it. Maybe we'd finally have a champion female boxer).
Awesome post, Adam -- loved it. Diane and I were laughing about it today as we walked by the JFSB and people all around us were being accosted. :)
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