Gonna do better...

Wow!! A new blog post. I added a new friend on facebook today and saw that his blog posts were huge!! His blog was very insightful, and it was clear he had spent a lot of time recording his life. I would like to improve on writing and recording my thoughts. In the past, one of the reasons that I stopped writing was recording negative feelings in writing. I just don't like to focus on negative feelings much less record them, and beyond that I don't always feel comfortable sharing everything with people. So I would like to improve on that.

Well, this past six weeks, and really this whole school year has been very difficult for me. I broke up with Shannon, when I still loved her, when I thought that things wouldn't work out, my mom has gotten married to someone I can't say I know very well, she also has a seemingly mild form of cancer, I am having a difficult semester of school, knowing that I soon will have to find a job and become a full fledged member of the working force. I have felt like I have been going through this alone at times, not asking for help from the lord. That is something that has been on my mind lately, is that I haven't lived through a truly difficult time of my life yet. The past eighteen months or so have definitely been the most trying. A key element in overcoming hard things has to be your testimony, and I want to use it more, I know I make it harder on myself without the lord's help. I have learned from experience that sometimes we receive no witness until after the trial of our faith. This has been a tough pill to swallow, but I look forward to the strengthening of my own testimony. I think I am mostly writing right now in order to have feelings and thoughts to remember from this time.

I wonder what it would be like to be in my mother's position. Divorced after 23 years of marriage, trying to start a new career and family at the same time, having to have enough confidence in your new marriage to be able to stand strong with your opinions. Although I have some very different outlooks on the gospel and people then my mother, her sturdiness and stability in how she lives the gospel is a great example to me. I am leaving on Friday to go down to Mexico to see my mother sealed. LOL it makes me laugh a little my family the way it is. Sometimes things don't come close to the way we predict. Her husbands name is Nestor, an my mom's new name is Osuna. Quite a change. Nestor is a very nice man who has an eleven year old daughter Melissa. He is 39?? About ten years younger then my mom, which doesn't bother me at all. He is not yet a citizen in America, but I am eager to welcome him into our family. He is a great cook too! I am happy my mom will not have to be alone, and hopefully will have someone that she can share her joys and trials with, and have as an example in living the gospel.

I had a good weekend, Jordan had a "TV shower", I received the following text friday. "You are cordially invited to celebrate the arrival of my newest addition. He came to me weighing 80.7 pounds and measuring 52 inches." So he had pizza and rock band at his place. Oh I love laughing... Earlier I went to the ward party, had a nap, went for a drive worked, and such it was great!

Well I think I am done, I hope to write at least once a week!! Hooray for goals!